Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
