sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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