i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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