well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
