you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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