No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
