everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
