He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
