before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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