my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
