White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
