Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I believe in your delicious
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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