thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
