im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
