i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
