Betty ford says i'm here all night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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