benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
