Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it was like his penis was on wheels.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
smell my finger.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
