Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
