Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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