It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh god it's open bar.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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