hotel room ftw
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
