he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
