I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize