I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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