how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
