I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
