If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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