So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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