Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
