TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
