how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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