I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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