Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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