youre lurking in front of me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize