I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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