You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
