I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
