Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
