I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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