we're blogging at a bar
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
