My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize