half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize