this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
