i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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