How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
