I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
