I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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