I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
