just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
