yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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