I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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