i think my tv is drunk
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
