But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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