I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
