Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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