Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
