not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
