One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
