how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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