shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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