Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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