you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
