Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
