Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How's work?
Spinning.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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